A Cynic's Garden of Political Perversities
Escher Elections, Political Laws, Lizards and Aliens, Quotes and Theft
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M.C. ESCHER ELECTIONS
The other day, Bastiat’s Window reader James Nick posted a comment offering a splendidly meme-worthy observation on contemporary American politics.
“This is looking like it’s going to be the third M.C. Escher Presidential election in a row … the only choice worse than the Republican is the Democrat and the only choice worse than the Democrat is the Republican. We are definitely in a kakistocracy.”
Some readers may not share Mr. Nick’s Trump-versus-Biden despair, but I’d guess that most of us have felt similarly about some choices we’ve seen on our ballots in recent years—and “M.C. Escher Election” offers a fine metaphor for the repellent selections that democracy sometimes casts our way. To help this phrase enter the lexicon, I produced the illustration that sits atop this post. (Please feel free to share this illustration as widely as you like.)
For those unfamiliar with the name, M(aurits) C(ornelis) Escher (1898-1972) was a Dutch graphic artist who created masterful optical illusions to depict physically impossible scenes. His Ascending and Descending, shown below, was inspired by Penrose Stairs that go endlessly downward in one direction and endlessly upward in the other. (A crisper image is available at the Guardian.) Escher’s design was inspired by the impossible stairs designed by Roger and Lionel Penrose who, in turn, had been inspired by Escher’s previous illustrations.
Mr. Nick’s use of “kakistocracy” sent me to Google to remind myself of the word’s meaning. From Wikipedia:
“A kakistocracy … is a government run by the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous citizens. The word was coined as early as the seventeenth century.”
In his science fiction satire, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams explained that the President of the Milky Way galaxy had no powers whatsoever because anyone who wants power is, by definition, unfit to wield power. Hence, in Adams’s fictional galaxy:
“The President in particular is very much a figurehead — he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had—he has already spent two of his ten presidential years in prison for fraud.”
In his Hitchhiker’s Guide sequel, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, Adams describes a world where the population is mostly human, but the elected officials are lizards, whom the humans despise. Asked why the humans continue voting for the lizards, one character explains:
“Because if they didn't vote for a lizard … the wrong lizard might get in.”
Switching books, the question that comes to mind when I read contemporary political news is from Lewis Carroll/Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:
“Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end!”
As the elderly, real-life Alice says in a poignant little biopic—Dreamchild (1985):
“Thank you, Mr. Dodgson.”
BLAHOUS’S 10 RULES OF POLITICS
Meanwhile, back on Earth, in 2023, my friend Chuck Blahous—a veteran of Capitol Hill, the White House, and various research institutions—devised 10 Rules of Politics essential for understanding American politics. They offer temporary relief from partisan hysteria in the way that Cortisone offers temporary relief from poison ivy. Here are his ten rules. Go to his article for loads of insights into each of his laws.
“The strongest concerns about the federal deficit are expressed by the political party opposing the president.”
“The political party opposing the president is more skeptical of military intervention.”
“Presidents tend to favor free trade more than members of Congress do.”
“Expertise and honesty do not confer objectivity.”
“The more sympathetic the constituency, the worse the policy.”
“What initially appears as venality is usually incompetence.”
“Political attacks often reveal more about the attacker than the attacked.”
“Political advice nearly always tracks the adviser’s policy preferences.”
“When Americans express opposition to a policy, those in government will reconsider their messaging strategy before reconsidering the policy.”
“When politicians justify their positions in terms of their popularity, they are probably embracing bad policy.”
POLITICAL QUOTATIONS AND MENTAL HEALTH
Here are a few choice quotes to keep in mind if you want to observe politics but retain your sanity. If a few sound familiar, some of these are from an earlier article, published when Bastiat’s Window was new and had few readers:
Foreign aid defined: [Foreign aid is] “an excellent method for transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.” ― Lord Peter Bauer
Noisy grasshoppers, quiet cattle: Because half-a-dozen grasshoppers under a fern make the field ring with their importunate chink, whilst thousands of great cattle, reposed beneath the shadow of the British oak, chew the cud and are silent, pray do not imagine that those who make the noise are the only inhabitants of the field; that of course they are many in number; or that, after all, they are other than the little shrivelled, meagre, hopping, though loud and troublesome insects of the hour. ― Edmund Burke
Political statistics: I gather, young man that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic. ― Winston Churchill
Other people’s money: “Nobody spends someone else’s money as carefully as they spend their own.” ― attributed to Milton Friedman
Overeducation: Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. ... The average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted to think about any other role. — William T Harris (1835-1909), U.S. Commissioner of Education
Bad luck: “Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded—here and there, now and then—are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and always opposed by all the right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people slip back into abject poverty. This is known as “bad luck”. ― Robert Heinlein
People and change: “‘People don’t like change,’ Michael Crichton once told me, ‘and the notion that technology is exciting is true for only a handful of people. The rest are depressed or annoyed by the changes.’” ― Matt Ridley
Innovation as fire: “Innovation is like a bush fire that burns brightly for a short time, then dies down before flaring up somewhere else.” — Matt Ridley
East is East: Politics is politics and investment is investment and that’s that. When a politician claims to be “investing,” he is engaged in politics. And when businesses partner up with politicians? That’s not politics—that’s an investment. ― Kevin Williamson
Learning: “How many times do we need to watch Casablanca before we figure out that Ilsa is going to get on the plane every single time?” — Kevin Williamson
Power: “Listen you little wiseacre: I’m smart, you’re dumb; I’m big, you’re little; I’m right, you’re wrong; and there’s nothing you can do about it.” ― Harry Wormwood (Danny DeVito in the film version of Roald Dahl’s “Matilda”)
And here are two additional quotes that require some commentary:
Deals: “In life, one sometimes makes bad deals.” — Jeanne Calment
(In 1965, Andre-François Raffray, age 47, agreed to pay Jeanne Calment, age 90, 2,500 French francs (around $500) per month for the right to her apartment when she died. In 1995, Raffray, age 77, died after paying the then-120-year-old Mme. Calment $184,000 over the preceding 30 years. His widow continued to pay until Mme. Calment’s death at 122. Asked after M. Raffray’s death whether she felt bad about the whole affair, Mme. Calment said, “In life, one sometimes makes bad deals.”)
Preferences: “Give people what they want. Then later, you can give them what you want.” — Pascal (Ian Holm) in Big Night (1996).
(In the beautiful little Campbell Scott film, Big Night, two Italian immigrant brothers operate a failing restaurant on the Jersey Shore. Secondo (Stanley Tucci) wishes to make a living, but Primo (Tony Shalhoub) is a puritanical chef who insists on serving only classic cuisine to his customers. In one scene, a young couple comes in, and the wife orders two starches. Primo is offended by this violation of culinary convention and goes ballistic; the couple storms out. Watching this action, Pascal (Ian Holm), a smarmy but highly successful restaurant owner, advises the brothers, “Give people what they want, then later you can give them what you want.”)
Here’s a different but thematically similar scene from Big Night:
LAGNIAPPE
PLAGIARIZE, PLAGIARIZE, PLAGIARIZE
I earned my PhD from an Ivy League university but sadly, I was unaware that the highest salaries and academic chairs were reserved for those who engaged in plagiarism. The same cannot be said of Harvard graduate Tom Lehrer, who wrote and recorded the finest tribute ever written to the theft of others’ ideas: “Lobachevsky” (1953). (I knew this song long before graduate school, but had mistakenly thought it was humor, rather than practical advice.)
I’m honored you read my silly comments, much less remember them, Professor Graboyes. Thank you. Your illustration is perfect!
The political quotations at the end of your piece are excellent! I’m going to have to commit some to memory, especially the one from Mme. Calment. As I work my way through one of the books you recommended , _The True Believer_ , I find myself underlining Eric Hoffer’s words with increasing frequency and marveling at how apt they are 70 years later.
Thank you for the link to the Tom Lehrer song. It was the first time I heard it and I loved it. It will go in my “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life” playlist!
On the topic of political despair, I confess to wallowing in it from time to time, even allowing uncharitable wishes regarding the candidates’ well-being to creep in, but I comfort myself with the knowledge that I’m likely to be gone in 20 to 30 years, so maybe I shouldn’t sweat it. Of course, there’s always Mme. Calment. . . .
"Kakistocracy" - what a perfect word! New to me, but now permanently added to my vocabulary and so fitting to current political affairs. As I heard expressed by a wit on TV (cannot think who), we are faced with a choice between a candidate who is not senile but under indictment, and a candidate who is too senile to be indicted.